


talk to me, darling

by ihavetoomuchfreetime



Series: in which harry tries and fails miserably [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: ? - Freeform, Alternate Universe - College/University, Dirty Talk, I suppose, M/M, Phone Sex, Sexting, Texting, kind of i suppose, this is really just a crack fic lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-08
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-21 23:10:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3707059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ihavetoomuchfreetime/pseuds/ihavetoomuchfreetime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>au; louis is bored and tired of revising, and harry offers relief. in ways.<br/>or similarly, louis is bored and harry tries to sext, but he's more than a bit shit at it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	talk to me, darling

**Author's Note:**

> i truly don't know what this is i wrote this in like 20 minutes like allow me fam  
> this is unbeta'd i'll edit this in the morning when i can be bothered

** **

*****

**talk to me, darling**

 

Louis sighs morosely as he stares down at his notepad. The page is full of messy scribblings which is supposed to be revision, and Louis knows for a fact that when it comes to cramming this for an exam, he’s not going to be able to decipher a single word of it.

He drops his head to the table and lets out a groan.

Fuck exams. Fuck revision. Fuck university, really – he could just drop out and become a stripper. That way he wouldn’t have to spend the next ten or so years of his life worrying about how he’s supposed to pay back £44k to the government for student loans on the pay that he’ll probably be getting from a shitty publishing firm. He’s considered it more than once – usually on nights when he’s up at three in the morning revising and sobbing into his bowl of soggy Cherios – but then he remembers that he has the grace and allure of an injured iguana, and the idea is forgotten.

In his distress, he pulls out his phone and furiously texts Harry.

_Help_

Harry’s reply is instantaneous.

**Babes are you locked in the disabled loos in tesco again? Xx**

Louis groans loudly, eliciting the students around him to shush him furiously. He blushes and ducks his head sheepishly, but for fuck’s sake, that happened  _once_  in Year 13 and Harry has refused to forget it.

 _No, fuck u,_ he sends, followed quickly by,  _I hate revising so I’m becoming a stripper._

 **:(((,** Harry texts back.  **and yay! Do I get private shows? ;) xx**

_Im joking_

**What a shame, really know how to destroy a hard on x**

_HAROLD_

**Lewis.**

Louis groans again. Harry is useless, honestly. Why he’s been in a relationship with the prick for six years now is beyond him.

_Distract meeeeee I don’t want to think about fucking Steinbeck anymore pls_

**Distract you? ;)))**

God, Louis can only imagine the dirty smirk that is probably stretched across Harry’ lips; the same smirk that he gets whenever he provokes a dirty whine to tumble from Louis’s lips whenever he goes down on him, or whenever he gets Louis to come in his boxer briefs by palming him in his jeans. Louis swallows and tries to still his heart that’s hammering in his chest.

_Yes please x_

**What are you wearing? Xxx**

Louis chokes down a laugh.

_Really?_

**What? :(**

_Is that you trying to be sexy?_

**Trying? I think you mean //succeeding//**

_Not really, love, no_

**Okay wait lemme start again *clears throat***

Louis giggles again, smiling down at his phone, and a girl who’s studying across the table from him looks at him as if he’s crazy, before she picks up her books and moves to sit at the table on the opposite end of the library.  _Yeah, fuck you too,_ Louis thinks, mentally flipping her off.

His phone buzzes in his lap.

**What you wearing, baby? ;) xoxox**

Louis bites his lip to stop him from bursting out in laughter.

_H, that’s even worse than the first time_

**(ROLL WITH IT IT’LL GET BETTER, PROMISE XXXX)**

Louis rolls his eyes with a weary sigh, but obliges, because  _Harry._

_I’m wearing tight black jeans and a loose white tee and vans xxxx_

**Mm, how tight are your jeans? I bet I’d be able to see your thick arse through the fabric, hm? Nice and plump and juicy? Bet you look smexy Xxxxxxxx**

This time, Louis does burst out laughing. Someone throws a crumpled up piece of paper at the back of his head.

_LMAO WHAT_

**What about my alluring message was ‘lmao’ please**

_‘smexy’???? this isn’t msn harry we’re not ten_

**:(((( I thought it was good**

_You would, babe. And excuse me ‘plump and juicy’? my arse isn’t a peach, babes_

**Isn’t it? ;))**

_Funny enough, it isn’t darling_

**UGH fine let me try again brb**

Louis grins. Harry’s so determined sometimes – he’s probably got his brow furrowed, and he might have a tab open on Wikihow of  _How to Sext Successfully._ Bless.

Louis’ phone buzzes again.

**What you doing rn? Xxx**

Louis rolls his eyes again and snorts, but plays along anyway.

_Boring revision in the library._

**What would you do if I was there with you? ;D**

Louis drops his head back and sighs at the ceiling. God, he’s in love with an idiot.

_Okay 100% no_

**FUCKS SAKE LOUIS**

**WHAT DID I DO WRONG THIS TIME**

_You sound like a really thirsty 13 y/o straight boy_

**YOU’RE SO HARD TO PLEASE OMG**

_OKAY okay sorry I’ll be better promise xxxxx_

**FINE. Let me attempt this again because CLEARLY you’re too freaking picky omg**

**What you up to?xx**

Louis snorts again. Harry is such an idiot. He loves him so much.

_Revising in the library, getting abused by my peers. You?xxx_

**Got a hand down my trousers. Xx**

Ooh, this sounds more promising. Louis sits up straighter in his seat.

_You touching yourself?xx_

**Course I am. Thinking about you x**

_Oh?_

**Yeah, thinking about how you come apart when I finger you deep and slowly, how you get all flushed and you whine and writhe beneath me xxx**

Louis cock jumps in his boxers, and his hands begin to dampen slightly with perspiration. He takes a steadying breath.

_What else?xxxxx_

**How you moan when I eat you out, and your nails running down my back when im leaving marks all down your body. God, you always taste so fucking good**

Fuck. This went from zero to one hundred real fast. Louis adjusts himself under the table.

_What would you do to me if I were with you? X_

**I’d undress you slowly, pressing kisses down your throat and when your clothes are off, I’ll press you against the wall with my hands tightly around your wrist cos I know how much you love being held down…xxxx**

Louis’ breath quickens. Fuck, he should escape to the loos and continue there, but his jeans are tight and his shirt isn’t stretchy enough for him to pull down over his now very obvious bulge, and the toilets are three floor away. Fuck.

_Yeah? What else?xxx_

**I’d drop to my knees and take you into my mouth, sucking the tip just like you like me to do, then take you deep into my throat.**

Louis shudders.  _Jesus,_ he types.

**Yeah I know how much you like that, baby, you’ll look so smexy standing above me moaning xxxx**

And, Louis’ dick instantly softens in his pants.

_Nah you lost me mate sorry_

**OH MY GOD**

_You said smexy harry honestly_

**FUCK YOU LOUIS**

**_~ FIN ~_ **

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblaaaaa](http://www.zaubreyonce.tumblr.com/)  
>  comments and kudos are v welcome oi oi
> 
>  
> 
> ETA 2/5/15: looking back at this now, a time in which i am revising profusely, i realise that louis is that one guy in the library who everybody hates. i would unapologetically throw things at him lol oops


End file.
